I can’t help but wonder why in the hell do I have to be crazy? I know being bipolar doesn’t mean you are crazy but I feel crazy at times. One minute I am just happy and content and the next I am thinking about how I wish I could blow up everyone within 100 feet of me. (okay guys I will never do it it’s just one of the crazy things that goes through my mind) I think it would really help me if my husband had some common sense. For those of you who know me and my husband you will understand exactly what I mean by that. I hate having this disease because I never know what I will feel from one minute to the next at times. And throw in bring in menopause and I am really insane!!!

So I have been on these meds for almost 2 weeks now, I really don’t feel a difference but I hope the people around me can. I think I am somewhat better. No one has been killed so something must be working. I am able to get out of the bed without having to force myself to. I can actually do my housework without having to talk myself into it. I hate it still but it’s not so hard now. So I guess I am on the right track with the meds and going to see the PDoc.

Well we will see how sane I am after this week is over, it is spring break and I will have my kids home all week plus a couple here and there. Oh My God, What the HELL was I thinking? 2 weeks out from a near nervous breakdown/maniac/depressed episode and I wanna babysit during spring break. Well we will see how I am come the end of the week. Till then Jamie

My first Blog. My Journey being Bipolar

Okay so I have been diagnosed with Bipolar disorder. So What Now? What do I do now that I now I am not just crazy, and there is a real illness that has caused me to be “insane” over the years. I was told by my PDOC that it would be a good idea if I kept a journal to chart my moods,  my ups, and my downs. I thought well why don’t I just Blog about it. maybe someone who can relate to my journey will see my blog and it just might help them.

 Okay so here is a little info on myself that might help you all get to know me and help with relating with me.

I am a mom of 3 kids. Josh 16, Nick 13 and Ashley 9.

I have been married for 14 years to the most wonderful man in the world. I have a tendency to bitch and complain about him but let me tell you this; My whole life revolves around him. If he god forbid something ever happened to him I would cease to exist. I would not know how to exist without him in my life. He is truly the love of my life no matter how much I try to act like he isn’t. He is the best thing that ever happened to me.

My oldest son Josh is currently in his 2nd group home. He is Bipolar as well. He has been in and out of trouble since he was 10. He and I are like oil and water. He is my first born and I would give my own life for him. 

Well there is a rundown of the basics about me. In this blog I plan on blogging about my day to day struggle to just be normal, my ups, my downs, my meds, basically my life.

I started taking Depakote 250mg twice a day on Monday March 1,2010. I am still having a hard tie sleeping at night. When I lay down to sleep my mind races,  I swear I think about 100 things a minute. I hope to soon find something to help me sleep a little better. I had labwork done on Monday March 8th so I hope to hear from the doctor soon to get something to help me sleep.

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